December 22nd is going to be the launch of, most-likely, the greatest album released this year. Method Man, Ghostface Killah and Raekwon and collaborating on a project that they have yet to name.
“That’d be beautiful,” Raekwon reflected. “A Ghostface, Method Man and Raekwon album, that’d be exciting. That’d be something that, it’d be mean though. Like I said, I can never front on them dudes’ swords, they ill with it. My thing is that when we do it, we gotta be in full-fledge ownership to that project because I feel like that’s something people is really gonna go out and get and we have to recognize we’re the new label, we’re the new industry too. If it go down, I just wanna make sure all the ‘I’s’ are dotted, ‘T’s’ is crossed so we’ll know at the end of the day we’re making this money for our family. But it’s all good, that’d be a mean album. Mef got his bounce, Ghost got his bounce, I got my bounce. Still would want to have the Clan on there, of course, but hey, if we gonna do it, let’s do it. I just wanna do it right.” (SOHH)
“They been wanting to do that for a while, maybe like the past two years,” Ghost revealed. “I was always with it. I think that right now, everybody is in that position to do it now. I think within the next two months, everybody will start collecting beats. Everybody goes in-- he’s got four songs, I got four songs, [Meth] has four. Start coming around like that and seeing what we can do. Make a little phat tight one. I told Meth the other day, ‘It’s gotta be phat and tight. We don’t need 16, 19 joints on there. Nah, nah, nah — 12 phat bullets. We do it like that, and that’s it.’ That’s gonna happen soon. It will probably be out by the end of the year or January, and that’s that.” (MTV)
They’ve decided to release some trailers for the album. Here’s trailer l of lll inspired by the classic David Fincher flick “Seven”. Enjoy!
This video was record and put together by a close friend of mine, Carlos Perez (VP of clubflyers.com). It’s up on the OHWOW website, if you want to go catch it. This should be enough to get you hyped up for Saturday (Halloween). I’M FUCKING STOKED!!!
Miami-based ArtOfficial consists of Danny Perez (keys), Manny Patino (drums), Ralf Valencia (bass), and Keith Cooper (saxophone/flute), with vocals provided by emcees Newsense and Logics.
The setup alone beckons the question, “What does a live band with two emcees sound like?” Well, imagine Soulive with a harder edge or The Roots, but jazzier, with more depth, and wildly spontaneous. Envision blending your favorite groups from hip hop’s “golden era,” replacing their sampled beats with jazz musicians and injecting a good dose of future funk into the whole equation. This synergy of sound doesn’t have to be imagined. It’s real — a living, breathing entity that hails from Miami, but thinks globally. Its name is ArtOfficial and its here to make you admire the past and embrace the future.
ArtOfficial @ Vagabond
Assembled from the remnants of two bands, one jazz and one hip hop, ArtOfficial has taken the music scene by storm, implementing its previous musical experiences to quickly achieve what Miami.com says is “the fast track to stardom.” Part of that experience is seen in the band’s stage shows. ArtOfficial’s live performances have earned them a reputation as a “superhero team of sorts, comprised of some badass musicians as well as MCs” according to 944 Magazine.
ArtOfficial has shared the stage with a variety of artists ranging from KRS-One, The Sugarhill Gang, Pharaoh Monch, and Buckshot to Andy Smith of Portishead and N.E.R.D. ArtOfficial were also part of 2007’s Rock the Bells festival headlined by the Wu-Tang Clan and Nas. In 2008, ArtOfficial beat out more than 1,000 bands to earn the second runner-up position in Lollapalooza’s “Last Band Standing” and in 2009, won the Florida Grammy Showcase becoming the first Hip-Hop act to ever do so.
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ArtOfficial’s full-length follow up to their much praised and independently released EP, “Stranger” is titled “Fist Fights and Foots Races” and is distributed in Japan via Media Factory. It has proved to be a hot seller since its release in early April 2008, peaking at #4 on the Tower Records Charts. “Fist Fights” was widely shared over the internet, earning ArtOfficial a newfound worldwide audience or as Logics would say, “a higher mountain to yell from.”
Today, the six-piece crew is constantly performing around the country, invading the blogosphere, and adding to an already loyal fan base. ArtOfficial is working on its next release titled “Misfits, Scholars, and Mystics.” According to the band, it’s everything you’d expect from their energetic live shows, but expanded and executed to perfection. When asked about plans for the future, the band’s idea is simple, “do it better, bigger, and to more people!”
I’m working on getting them to give us an exclusive interview with maybe some nice exclusive goodies. Till then kick back and parlay on some of this jazzy goodness.
I am the first to admit that I am obsessed with drag queens and trannies. I am. Now I don’t want you to go off on some tangent that I am “into” them…that’s a whole other ball of wax, kiddies. I don’t want to fuck drag queens and I am certainly not interested in piping a trannie. But…I am totally down to go for lunch and cocktails. Preferably pink cocktails. Preferably before noon. So we can talk about boys and makeup and how to contour.
You see, to me, a good drag queen is the best of both worlds. Big and manly for heavy lifting and general ass kickery and ferocious and fierce for makeup application and tips on how to make your dresses fit better. I am obsessed with them. I think first and foremost because a wonderful drag queen named Diamond took me under her wing and taught me the basics of fierce eye makeup. (She called it DAZZLE on the LIDS. “Always make those lids dazzle, sugar!” she would tell me.) The second reason is because at an impressionable age I was allowed to watch the original movie version of Hairspray and I was taken aback by the portrayal of both Edna Turnblad AND Arvin Hodgepile by the one and only DIVINE…#18 on our countdown.
It’s officially Antisteez Day. No school, no work, no drama, just sex and cake. In order to show Goobs and my appreciation and thanks to all the readers, we’ve given Antisteez a new dress. Enjoy the holiday and the new template. Love ya.
Wow. So I tried to post this yesterday and WordPress had some sort of AIDS and killed my post not once, but three times! (Maybe it was because I used the term, ‘Uncle-Fucker’ liberally?) So, I am rewriting and reposting this morning and hopefully all goes well. (Which means we are one day behind in Fatwareness terms, but cest la vie, I will remedy that this evening.) For now, let us get on with the fatness, shall we?
In 1997, I was working at a Barnes and Nobles with my wonderful friend Chello and we had not a care in the world. We had quite the great times working in the Cafe, making coffee, doing whippits out of whipped cream cans and stealing grinders and trading them for pot. Yes…I stole coffee grinders and traded them to support my Marijuana habit. What can I say? I was 18 and reckless and retarded…and drug dealers love appliances.
So, it was on one night in 1997 that we were hanging out at this guy Joey’s house and smoking the stickiest of the icky (A purple haze so potent that it made my lips numb and my teeth chatter.) when I saw today’s fatcon on the tube. Someone had told us that there was a new, animated series coming on and that we had to watch the first episode. So, highly stoned, we turned on the TV and I witness the most-brilliant thing of all time: The first episode of South Park.
Now, it might have been because I was so high, but the episode was the one where #19 on our fat list gets an anal probe by aliens, and it was, for the most part, the MOST GLORIOUS thing I had ever seen. I distinctly remember looking over at Chello and saying, “Holy shit. This is the greatest thing of all time.” And so, with one anal probe and one song and dance sequence of, “I like to sing-ah about the moon and the stars,” #19 on our list became an icon. A fat icon of epic proportions.
#19: Eric Cartman
The many faces of Fatcon #19: Eric Cartman.
There are so many things that can be said about the amazingness that is Eric Cartman. Over the years, this little fatty has become a staple on T.V. There is no fouler-mouthed, racist, politically incorrect, overweight, nasty, socially inept little kid on T.V. and by God, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
His is a meanness that I can identify with. Let’s just put it this way, if I ever unleashed my inner fat kid on anyone, it would sound like Cartman. Because my inner fat kid is angry at the world, man.
Now, I am not trying to say that just because Eric Cartman is fat, that he is automatically funny, but I will say that there is nothing like making fun of a fat person and watching a fat person shit on everyone and that is why the creation of Cartman is so genius! Little, fat kids are mean, man. Hell, little kids are mean. That is why Cartman works so well. He is the true representation of how nasty little kids can be, especially when they are talking shit about other little kids, Nothing is off limits and nothing is sacred to kids and Eric Cartman is a true representation of that. He dishes on the Jews, people’s moms and homos and it is HALARIOUS!
On a sidenote, here is an interesting tidbit about Cartman. He was created to be a representation of 70s-80s icon Archie Bunker. (Which is great, because I love him!) He is also South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s favorite character. (And why wouldn’t he be?) There are plenty of things that can be said about Cartman but, to me, the best things to say about him are: BEEEEEFCAAAAAAKKKKEEE!! And RESPECT MY AUTHORATAAAAY!!!!
Oh…and Kyle’s mom is a bitch!
Enjoy #19 on our Fatwareness countdown. I know I do…even though I had to re-write this post four times! (It might have been funnier on version #2, but, eh, what can we do?)
Posted by Goobs On October - 24 - 2009ADD COMMENTS
If you want to argue with me about who the greatest guitar player of all time is, I am going to shut you down and say it’s Stevie Ray Vaughan, hands down. But, if you want to ask who the greatest bluesman of all time is, that’s different. I would have to say that it is today’s fatcon, for sure. A bluesman, to me, is a man who makes love to the blues right there in front of the whole world. It is a coitus of music and man and misery so intense that people who hear it can feel the music like a shot to their hearts and are instantly transported to a place and time when they knew pain and heartache and sadness.
Now, if you don’t like the blues, you should probably kill yourself. And I mean that in the nicest way. The blues is the foundation for rock and roll and r & b and modern music as we know it. It is the string that wove the music that you listen to today. You should go out and get yourself some blues records and develop a relationship with this music. Preferably under the duress of some severe heartache. Drink some aged scotch and get nice and drunk. Wail and hurt and feel the blues. The blues should become a part of your music arsenal ASAP.
Especially if it is played by this man right here.
The first time I heard this man play, I was about 10. I had taken all my dad’s records (Real records. Vinyl goodness.) and I was perusing them so I could learn myself something about my pop, who was no longer around and wouldn’t be until about seven years later. Of course, there was a lot of Bob Marley. (LOL My dad was such a pothead.) But there was also an album in there called BB KING Live At Cook County Jail and there was a track on there called Worry, Worry, Worry that blew my fucking mind. I mean…the blues blew me right out of the water. The guitar. The raunchy use of the F chord. The extended intro that to any blues lover is like foreplay and then, B.B. King sang. He sang and I was in love. And not the fickle love of today. Oh, no. Me and B.B. King are still in love to this day, 20 years later. Meet Fatcon #20. The undisputed king of the blues.
#20 B.B. King
King of the Blues...B.B. King and his Lucille.
B.B. King was born in Mississippi. The South, where blues was born and flourished and seduced minds and ears. Like so many bluesmen before and after him, his roots were in the church and gospel music. I like to think that the blues is a lot like gospel. It is like singing praise onto the Lord, but in a different way. It is a lament to the Heavens for peace and easement of great pain. The blues, to me, is like sending your tears to God through music. Mr. King learned the blues from the legendary T-Bone Walker and then, and only then, he knew that he would have to pay electric guitar to get his blues sound across. And that, my friends, was when B.B. King forayed into greatness.
To say that B.B. King is a good guitar player is an understatement of the most-epic proportions. B.B. King is a guitar god. His is a timing and a slide-guitar technique that only comes from players who view the guitar as an extension of themselves. B.B. King doesn’t play guitar, he is guitar. His relationship with his guitar, named Lucille, is a marriage of tumultuous heat and passion. Of languid and lengthy lovemaking. When he and Lucille get together, what you are hearing is almost, practically pornographic. He plays the guitar like it was a woman and to hear it is to know what a real lover is.
And, B.B. King is a big, big man, ya’ll. And I know that this is a Fatcon countdown and I know that I should be reveling in his fatness, but honestly, I would rather revel in his music. So let me go ahead and get this out of the way: B.B. is a big man that rests his guitar, Lucille, on his gut when he plays. There. Now you know why he is on this list. But if you take anything from this post it should be that B.B. King is an icon, period. The man has rocked with the likes of U2, Eric Clapton and Gladys Knight. People beg to play with him. He is one of the rocks of the blues movement and at 85, he is still rocking out today. He is a blues legend. A blues god. He is the king of the blues. And you should listen to him wail.
Okay, so today’s two fatcons kind of go hand-in-hand, so I decided to smoosh them together in one heaping helping of fatness. (Not really. Well, they do go together like buttery peas and brown-sugar laden carrots, but the truth is that I was supposed to blog about # 22 earlier, like a day ago, but I was busy. You see, I have a bread-and-butta job I work during the day and I got a little bit hectic. Sometimes a sista’s gotta meet deadline and then the blog she loves, that makes her no dough but makes her feel alive, has to suffer a little. Luckily for you guys, these two mountains of flesh do, in fact, belong together . Thank goodness.)
So, I want to take this moment to talk about two things that bring me immense joy. The first is my soulmate, my confidant, my roots…New York. Ah, la gran manzana. The place where a girl goes to shop, feel alive and stomp around on concrete so old that her parents and her parent’s parents stomped on it before her. New York. My hometown. My city.
The next is Puerto Ricans. I am not Puerto Rican, but I have had lots of Puerto Rican food. I am a level 10 arroz con gandules eater. I have danced to many a Puerto Rican tra-tra-tra rhythm. I have also had quite a few Puerto Rican lovers. And when the song at the club says, “UH, Puerto Rico!” I say, “Heyyyyy!” So I feel pretty confident in my grasp of La Isla del Encanto and all of it’s traditions, cultures and nuances.
Now, you piece together my city, P.R. and fatness and what do you have?
These two brothas right here:
#22 & #21: Big Pun and Fat Joe
Two of the biggest Boricuas in the game, son.
BIG PUN
Like most of you, the first time I heard Big Pun do his thing on a track was around 1997 when he did a collabo with The Beatnuts and Cuban Links on the single, Off The Books. I remember thinking that he had the most-gruffy voice and that his delivery was pretty great. He reminded me of someone’s mafioso uncle. You know what I mean? Someone’s guito-esque-yet-Latino Tio who would tell you stories about how he used to run numbers in the Bronx. Yeah, that’s how Big Pun sounded to me. By the time I heard Still Not a Player in about 1998, I loved this man.
And if you ever saw him in person, like I did one night on South Beach, you would have been surprised at how big this man really was. His hands were so big that his fingers were like sausages. He waddled from side to side when he walked. But he was so nice. And he was talented. He might have been fucking mountainous, yet, he was a great presence in hip-hop. He brought that Puerto-rock steez to the mic that made you feel like you were on la esquina (the corner) with your gente (your peoples) on a summer day in the Bronx. And everytime I hear the whole, “Boricua, morena. Boricua, morena…” hook, I smile.
Rest In Peace, Pun. The big man passed at a young 28 years old.
Unfortunately for Pun, his obesity would be his undoing. In 2000, he suffered a heartattack and died. He was 698 pounds. Yeah, that’s how it goes. But I happen to think that if he were still around today, Big Pun would have been a big deal. He might have still been making music. But, alas, the fat got him. Bigness got Pun and then, Pun was done. Rest in peace big man. Rest knowing you are fatcon #22.
FAT JOE
I am not really sure the first time that I heard Fat Joe on a track. Wait no, scratch that. I remember. It was on a track called Flow Joe (I think it was his first effort? I am not sure.) that I heard at a house party. Why is that relevant? Well, the song sampled a snippet of song written by Morton Stevens. Why is that relevant? He is the dude that composed the theme song for Hawaii Five-O. And I know this because I am entirely too curious and talk too much to too many music junkies.
Fat Joe: Not really a big deal but kind of a big deal.
Regardless, I will come right out and say that I don’t like Fat Joe as a rapper. In fact, I think he sucks. I think his delivery is shit. And there are all sorts of rumors that he doesn’t even write his own flows. He is one of those poser rappers. (You know, like Diddy.) He spits other people’s lyrics and he does it because he can. Which is what leads me to why I think that Fat Joe is a fatcon.
It is not his rapping that makes Fat Joe a king…it is his bullshitability. You see, if you go to the Bronx on any given day, you will encounter 30294102312929 Puerto Rican hustlers who are quick at the mouth and always on some hustle. However, none of them will ever make it to the big time…unless their name is Fat Joe.
My pop used to say to me, “If you can’t dazzle them with your intelligence, baffle them with your bullshit.” Fat Joe built an entire empire, Terror Squad, by baffling the world with his bullshit. He has good rappers on his label, yet, none of them put out albums. He can’t rap and his only real mainstream hit was Lean Back (Which I will admit is catchy as fuck. I love it.) and that’s it. So ask yourself, HOW THE FUCK IS FAT JOE SITTING ON TOP OF SO MUCH LOOT? Easy…Fat Swagger, yo. He has that sort of fat presence (Think of Marlon Brando in The Godfather.) that kind of inspires people to follow him. That allows him to be a big baller even though he is not a big deal. He, like so many others before him, have mastered the art of fatfidence and he has built an empire on it. That makes him a fatcon for sure. Maybe you don’t think so, but think about his talentless ass riding around in a Bentley and then think about your talented ass not riding around in one. Yeah, if you had Fat Joe’s bullshitability skills, you might be leaning back in an expensive ride right now. But you don’t…but he does. That is why, he is #21.
At this point in time, you should sit back and enjoy this videos of these two fatcons. Maybe you don’t like them, but these two did it big and hey, that’s where it’s at and that’s how it’s fat.
I am a STAR WHORE when it comes to Google Reader. If you don’t know what that is and have a google account, I highly recommend you read up on it. So, yeah. I have a TON of random blogs I follow and I LOVE “starring” post’s about random shit that people make. I’ve decided I would share some with you guys because I KNOW you will get a kick outta this.
Mario Bros USB
gizmodo.com ~ With 8GB flash drives available for under $20 and 32GB drives edging into the mainstream, nobody can blame you for shelving old USB sticks. But there are a surprising number of uses for those rickety, sub-gigabyte keychains.
There are nearly endless ways to bring a USB stick out of retirement, and they’re not just gimmicks: virtually all USB sticks, 32MB USB 1.1 dinosaurs included, can be repurposed into anything from a lifesaving troubleshooting tool to an entire portable OS.
Time lapse vid of Dalek hitting up a Hurley store.
NY Times ~ A while ago, reports of executions — one postponed in Ohio, one carried out in Texas — punctuated the news more frequently than usual. These reports prompted me to reflect on an archive of executed prisoners’ last words I found on the Texas Department of Criminal Justice Web site while researching parole terms. The archive’s earliest entry dates from Dec. 7, 1982; the most recent was added after Stephen Moody was executed on Wednesday by lethal injection for murder. What follows are quotations taken from inmates’ last statements in Texas. The statements, delivered before family members, relatives of victims, friends and the press, are compiled out of chronological order. Read the article.
At long last, the Concords are free to fly! Download your very own paper Brett and Jemaine, along with Jemaine’s amp, and recreate your favourite scenes from the funniest acapella digi-bongo comedy out there! Get it HERE
Who loves Mr. Hanky??
World News~ ADOLF Hitler may not have died in a bunker after fresh research suggests the skull thought to be the tyrant’s was from a woman.
US archaeologist Nick Bellantoni found fragments from the skull believed to be Hitler’s were too thin to be from a male, and suspected it was the remains of a much younger woman. Read the article
Let me know if you guys appreciate these SUPER random things I post up here. I might do it more often.
Every single producer has at least one MC and one singer that they favor. It’s kind of like a family thing. Makes sense, since the producer is usually the person to come up and get recognized the quickest. They do the MC friend and the singer friends a favor and give them spots on songs and/or records. This week I bring you the R&B singer that J Dilla brought in to the game. Dwele. Dilla was always surrounded by talent, given, but this is different. Dilla revolutionized the game. There will NEVER be a cover or a remix of something he did, that makes it better. What defines a good artist, any type of musician, is the fact that they are way ahead of their time. Dilla gave this to you with his music, with Dwele, with Slum Village and with a ton of other artist’s I’m not going to mention because they are all on a list for Learn Ya Wednesdays.
Heavy hitting soul sensation
Dwele was raised up in a musical family in the city of Detroit. At the age of 10 his father passed away and his mother told him to save his pain for when he writes music. So he started writing music. Andwele Gardner recorder his first solo, named The Rize, made 100 copies and sold them all, within a week, from the trunk of his car. Slum Village just happened to be one of the consumers of this album. SV took Dwele into the studio to record a song named “Tainted”, for their album Trinity (Past, Present and Future). This is how Dwele got his foot in with J Dilla. YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, through Slum Village. For those of you who don’t know, J DILLA was the producer for Slum Village. So, he came out on this AMAZING song, which if anyone knows me, then you know this song, and that kicked off his career. Bahamadia heard this and wanted Dwele to star in a few of her songs.
To end this post, I’ll go ahead and say that those of you who may not be to into Slum Village, or Dilla, or Dwele, have STILL heard him. He was on a Pharoahe Monch song named “Desire”, He was on a VERY FAMOUS Common track named “The People” which was his first single off of Be. He was on “Flashing Lights” which was a huge single for Kanye West. Hard working guy that hasn’t made a very big name for himself, huh? All of these HUGE songs were being recorded while he was working on his solo albums also.
Okay, so now you either are just finding out how amazing this hook perfecting, soul bring, r&b mastering voice is, or you’re actually saying “dude, I’ve totally heard this dude in 76534 different song”. Regardless of what you’ve heard or haven’t heard, give this dude the respect he deserves today. Listen to these songs, buy his albums, illegally pirate them, it doesn’t matter. Just get it. And don’t forget, someone with this much talent, can do amazing things. The next video should prove this to you. I know it’s a bit over done, the whole Michael Jackson tribute and all, but this is talent, man. He shows off his production skills, piano skills, bass skills, singing skills. WOW, just watch and listen.
I will admit that today’s Fatcon is the subject of one of my big-girl crushes. Correction: She is the subject of one of my big-girl, girl-crushes.
I am gonna soapbox it up right now and say that as a big(ish) girl, or a chubby chick, I am pretty ferocious when it comes to my look. I am not one of these frumpsters who hides behind baggy clothes and doesn’t wear makeup. Oh, no. I am an in-your-face diva of the decadent. I wear what I want, from “meow!” style dresses to dope kicks and a wife beater. I can be a plus-sized pinup or an around-the-way girl and I do it hard. I do it mean! I DO IT BIG! And that is why, under the rules of game-recognize-game, I can confidently say that I am kind of in love with Fatcon #23…the uncompromising, unconventional, unapologetic Beth Ditto.
#23: Beth Ditto
#23: Beth Ditto, Lead singer of The Gossip. She's a fuckin' ROCK STAR.
Beth Ditto is a big girl. The kind of big girl that has rotund curves that cannot be squeezed into obedience by some corset or Spanxx prison. Hers is the shape of undeniable bigness and that is, at least I happen to believe so, why she is unstoppable. She is fat, ya’ll. She is a fuckin’ fat force of nature. Beth Ditto will murk your sesh.
By now, if you have no clue who this big girl is, you are probably asking, “Who the fuck is Beth Ditto?” Beth Ditto is the lead singer of the outrageous band The Gossip. The Gossip, for lack of better vernacular and tact are, well, they are FUCK YES! in my opinion. I use the term FUCK YES! as strongly as possible. You should probably stop what you are doing right now and scroll down there and watch some of their videos. You should learn yourself some The Gossip. You should rock the fuck out, ASAP, repeatedly. Until you start recommending The Gossip to others with the fervor that I am recommending it to you.
And sure, Beth Ditto has a great voice. Sure. That is already established. But that is not the reason why she is a fatcon. Oh, no. The real reason she is a fatcon has to do with her unapologetic flauntage of her fatness. You see, this big woman parades around half naked on stage. (And sometimes naked!) She strips off her clothes and shows the world what she’s got and she doesn’t care what you or I or them think about it. She revels in her rolls and her cellulite. She wears costumes that put drag queens to shame and make this trannie-lover right here, jealous. (Her fashion sense is FIRE!!) And now, because of her entirely rad fatness, designers who would NEVER design for the bigs are putting together entire lines FOR HER. That’s right…she made fashion houses and fat-haters bow down. She is that powerful in her conviction of herself. She threw them her confidence and they ran out and bought extra material. That takes a swagger and a fierceness that even skinny people don’t posses. That takes fucking balls, man. Huge ones. Fat ones.
Oh, and she is a lesbian…which kind of justifies my girl-crush on her. She has that lezzie mojo.
And that, that right there is why Beth Ditto is #23. And why I love her. I simply love her.
Check out her FEROCIOUS photos and videos below! -goobs
