It’s Friday the 13^th but there’s not a horror movie monster in sight. That’s unless you classify steroid kingpins Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren as monsters. No, instead, South Florida audiences will be graced with the battle of the sexes as the testosterone-charged “The Expendables” takes on the estrogen-laced “Eat Pray Love” for box office supremacy. Also vying for South Florida audiences’ top dollar during this very crowded August weekend will be the quirky teen love story “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.” As stated last week, this weekend unofficially marks the end of the 4-month-long summer movie season as there aren’t any high-profile releases scheduled after this week until the official end of the season on Labor Day.

The following is your weekend preview of the major films opening in South Florida theaters this weekend and what you MUST SEE, SEE, WATCH AT A MATINEE, WAIT FOR THE DVD, SKIP IT or flat-out AVOID AT ALL COST!

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD

Directed by: Edgar Wright

Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin,

Jason Schwartzman

Rated: PG-13 (for stylized violence, sexual content, language and drug references)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? When Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), 22-year-old bass player for the Canadian band Sex Bob-omb, falls for American Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), he discovers that he has to fight off her 7 evil-exes to win her heart. Based on the popular series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O’Malley.

WHAT’S THE BUZZ LIKE? “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” has been the source of intense comic book fanboy salivation ever since an insane video game-like teaser mashing hipster romance with “Mortal Kombat” and “Street Fighter” made its debut in April. And it’s not because of star Michael Cera (who plays the same awkward hipster in all his movies) but writer/director Edgar Wright – who after writing and directing the acclaimed cult comedy classics “Shaun of the Dead” and “Hot Fuzz,” has already become a sort of cult figure among movie fans. Based on the popular series of graphic novels, “Pilgrim” is loaded with an unbelievably talented cast of young actors including Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans (the upcoming “Captain America”), Brandon Routh (“Superman Returns”), Jason Schwartzman (“Rushmore”) and newly-minted Oscar nominee Anna Kendrick (“Up in the Air”). “Scott Pilgrim” made its world premiere at the 2010 San Diego Comic Con last month where it was enthusiastically received by comic fans. Whether it has the potential to break outside the realms of its comic book fanbase remains to be seen.

WHAT’S MY TAKE ON IT? “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” is a hyper-stylized and inventive comic book adaptation that seamlessly blends video game and comic book aesthetics with pop cultural references, comedy and a killer soundtrack to tell a charming love story. With a can’t-miss ensemble cast of some of the Hollywood’s brightest young talents and fantastic direction by Edgar Wright, this is one of the year’s best movies. GRADE: A

WHAT ARE THE CRITICS SAYING? “SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD” has been receiving generally positive reviews. The following is a sample of the grades it has been receiving from critics around the nation.

Rotten Tomatoes: 76%; Top Critics: 76%; Average Rating: 7.4/10

Metacritic: 65/100 (Generally Favorable Reviews)

SHOULD YOU SEE IT? “Scott Pilgrim” is fast, stylish and a lot of fun. It’s far better than both of this weekend’s other high profile releases, “The Expendables” and “Eat Pray Love.” It’s one of my favorite movies of 2010. This is a MUST SEE.

*****

EAT PRAY LOVE

Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Starring: Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem, James Franco, Richard Jenkins

Rated: PG-13 (for brief strong language, some sexual references and male rear nudity)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? After getting divorced, Liz Gilbert (Julia Roberts) doesn’t know what to do with her life so she starts off on a journey around the world to find herself, eating in Italy, praying in India and finding true love in Bali. The film is based on the best-selling memoir by Gilbert.

WHAT’S THE BUZZ LIKE? It’s been a decade since Julia Roberts’ last summer movie (“America’s Sweethearts”) so “Eat Pray Love” (written and directed by “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy) will be a test of how much of a box office titan she still is. Obviously, fans of the insanely popular memoir which is still on the best seller charts (as well as Oprah’s Book Club) will be the primary audience here but based on the previews, it looks like Roberts will have no problem drawing faction of moviegoers, especially the oft-neglected over-35 female demo.  Surrounding Roberts is a strong cast of Oscar winners and nominees including Javier Bardem, Richard Jenkins, Viola Davis, James Franco and Billy Crudup. When you have a cast this good, coupled with a strong trailer, it usually means that there’s something really special beneath the surface.

WHAT’S MY TAKE ON IT? “Eat Pray Love” is a well-intentioned and sumptously-shot drama that features a strong performance from Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert as well as fantastic supporting turns from character actors Richard Jenkins and Javier Bardem. But despite the strong performances, gorgeous cinematography and many solid moments, some of them, even brilliant, the film is short-changed by a dull and bland script that preaches rather than shows, a butt-numbingly long running time. Simply said, it’s just not a good time at the movies. GRADE: C

WHAT ARE THE CRITICS SAYING? “EAT PRAY LOVE” has been receiving mixed or average reviews. The following is a sample of the grades it has been receiving from critics around the nation.
Rotten Tomatoes: 39%; Top Critics: 33%; Average Rating: 5.9/10

Metacritic: 50/100 (Mixed or Average Reviews)

SHOULD YOU SEE IT? If you’re a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir or are a big Julia Roberts fan, you may enjoy the movie. Most men however, are bound to find themselves bored out of their mind during this extremely long and shallow trip across the world. SEE IT AT A MATINEE.

*****

THE EXPENDABLES

Directed by: Sylvester Stallone

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke

Rated: R (for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language)

WHAT’S IT ABOUT? A group of mercenaries led by Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and former S.A.S. Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) are sent on a mission to South America to overthrow the dictator of a small island, General Gaza (David Zayas), along with a local freedom fighter (Giselle Itie), only to face a deadlier enemy in a rogue ex-CIA operative (Eric Roberts) and his vicious henchman (Steve Austin).

WHAT’S THE BUZZ LIKE? The great action heroes of the 80s and 90s make a nostalgic trip back to the silver screen in Sylvester Stallone’s “The Expendables,” an action-packed throwback to the movies of the bygone era when action heroes, not superheroes dominated the box office. With a cast that includes Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, former UFC champ Randy Couture, former NFL star Terry Crews, Eric Roberts and former WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin, “The Expendables” definitely ranks high among the most macho movies of all time. As if those guys weren’t enough, both Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger make cameos in a pivotal scene with Stallone (where they probably discuss the embarrassment that is “Planet Hollywood”). Just about the only major action guys missing are Jean Claude Van Damme, Wesley Snipes and Steven Seagal, all who were approached for roles. Van Damme was offered a major role but turned it down claiming his character had no substance (I swear I’m not kidding!) while Seagal denied a cameo because of bad blood with a producer on the project. Snipes on the other hand, would have played the Terry Crews role but had to decline because of his tax problems which didn’t allow him to leave the U.S. Still, with a cast like this, you know you’re going to be in for one kick-ass ride!

WHAT’S MY TAKE ON IT? “The Expendables” is not a great movie. Hell, it’s not even a good one. But it’s a damn good time. If you go in expecting a character-driven thinking man’s action movie, you’re going to walk out absolutely disappointed. But if a mindless balls-to-the-wall throwback to violent action movies of the 80s and 90s is your type of movie, then you’re going to love every cheesy and explosive moment of it. GRADE: B (if you’re up for a guilty pleasure, thrill ride); C (if you’re expecting it to be any good).

WHAT ARE THE CRITICS SAYING? “THE EXPENDABLES” has been receiving mixed to average reviews. The following is a sample of the grades it has been receiving from critics around the nation.
Rotten Tomatoes: 45%; Top Critics: 36%; Average Rating: 5.2/10

Metacritic: 40/100 (Mixed or Average Reviews)

SHOULD YOU SEE IT? It depends. Like “Eat Pray Love,” this is a fan-driven movie. If you enjoy big, loud and dumb testosterone-charged action movies with gratuitous violence and cheesy dialogues, then this is your type of movie. If you prefer your movies with a little more substance, then you’re better off looking elsewhere. SEE IT AT A MATINEE.

*****

NEXT WEEK: The first badge of the annual summer crap will be unleashed in cinemas this weekend. Leading the crop of sure-to-be-stinkers will be the vampire spoof comedy (or tragedy) “Vampires Suck” which will open two days earlier on August 18. Also opening are the comedy “The Lottery Ticket” starring Bow Wow and Ice Cube; the family fantasy sequel “Nanny McPhee Returns” starring Emma Thompson; the B-grade shock fest “Piranha 3D” and Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman in the awful-looking romance “The Switch.”