Guess what kids? ELECTION TIME IS HERE. (No…not THAT election! Sorry Obama and Sarah Palin, who I am sure needs all the extra time she can get to ready her plethora of stupidity.)

It’s time…(bass is gonna blow your mind!) for the Miami-Dade County Special Election!

With early voting opening for Dade County residents just this past Monday, I scored myself a copy of the Official Sample Ballot for the Miami-Dade County Special Election, which takes place on May 24. (But you can vote in ANY of the 20 Early Voting Locations from May 9-22, and I suggest you do, as lines on Voting Day are always bananas!) The special election gives you (The responsible voters that you are!) a chance to vote for a new State Representative for District 10. (There are three candidates.) It also gives you the opportunity to vote for six amendments. (All of which are about balance of power and rules to govern our…dare I say it?…CORRUPT ASS Politicians.)

But none of that voting really matters compared to what I am calling:

THE BALLOT BIG SHOW

That’s right, the real deal taking place during this special election is the run for the Miami Dade County Mayor, and looking at the ballot it is going to be a bigger race than you’ve ever seen in any Fast and Too Super Fast and Really Fucking Fast and Furious Movie.

I consider myself to be pretty informed when it comes to politics, but opening that ballot and seeing 11 CANDIDATES FOR MAYOR is pretty intimidating for any voter. That is until you notice that the third candidate listed on the ballot is none other than Luther “Luke” Campbell.

Uncle Luke says, "I want to be your Mayor...head, head and more head for err'body!"

(Two things should have happened right now. 1: You should have instantly put your hands up high and your feet down low and done hydraulics to the floor. 2: You should have said, “DUH,” because if you didn’t know Uncle Luke was running for mayor…you’ve been living under a (crack) rock.)

While most critics are trying to bash Uncle Luke’s run for mayor, I am suggesting that you celebrate it. Now, I am not telling you to vote for Luke just because he is the godfather of Miami Bass and because he fought THE MAN on censorship laws and WON, forever making it possible for all of us to enjoy musical stylings featuring the lyrics, “My neck, my back, lick my pussy AND my crack.” Oh, no.

I am telling you to endorse Luke’s run for mayor for more important reasons.

• He is a legit and very successful business man.
• He is all about going over our county budget and figuring out why the, pardon my English, FUCK our airport is a mess, our public hospital is a mess, our inner city is a mess, our economy is a mess, our employment is a mess and why our POLITICIANS ARE BALLING! (Call me naive, but that shit speaks to me.)
• He wants to tax the strippers. (Why not? They’ve been taxin’ our wallets for years!)
• He wants to allow medical marijuana dispensaries. (I know a lot of you with “glaucoma” and “anxiety” who would benefit from this.)
• He wants to create affordable housing. (Have you SEEN the housing situation in Little Haiti? Overtown? Liberty City? How are we supposed to make people proud to live here, decrease crime and clean up the streets if we have people living in shanties and on the streets, eh?)

But I could sing Luke’s praises until I was blue in the face. For some of you, that would make no difference. So, I am going to speak to you in terms that you understand.

Hey, man…LET’S FUCKING PARTY! LET’S FUCKING PARTY WITH UNCLE LUKE!

That’s right. The man himself, along with our friendly pals at the Miami New Times and promoter legend Notorious Nastie, are going to throw the most-epic of all Campaign rallies this Saturday and YOU ARE INVITED.

(RSVP to the FACEBOOK EVENT here!)

Featuring LIVE performances by YMF aka Your Mom’s Favorite, The LLAMABEATS Crew and the legendary UNCLE LUKE, the night is going to be one that will forever change your view on politics.
Also on the roster are musical stylings by DJS: Chico Biscayne, Run Sevim Run, Atrasolis, Madame Turk, DS and Karakter.

It will be a night for dancing, a night for bass in your face and for TWO LUCKY WINNERS (And their guests!) it will be a night to meet and hang out with Uncle Luke. Yes, you and Uncle Luke, straight lounging and sharing LOLs. How? Because your great pals at antisteez are going to give away TWO FREE PAIRS OF TICKETS to this event and those tickets get you and your date in the door and also grant you special face time with the one and only, Tio Luke. (I like calling him Tio. It’s very Que Pasa USA of me.)

Do you want to hang out with Uncle Luke this Saturday? Just leave a comment and we will randomly pick two lucky winners on Friday. Don’t hesitate…this could be your chance to ask the man himself about his political platform, why you should vote for him and his plans to revamp the budget. OR…you could just ask him how he came up with the lyrics to Pop That Coochie. Your call.

Enter by leaving a comment below. (Antisteez staff and affiliates are excluded from this contest. Sorry kids…)

Uncle Luke Campaign Rally
Saturday, May 14, 2011, 10 p.m.
EVE Event Space
1306 N Miami Ave
Miami, FL