I will admit that today’s Fatcon is the subject of one of my big-girl crushes. Correction: She is the subject of one of my big-girl, girl-crushes.

I am gonna soapbox it up right now and say that as a big(ish) girl, or a chubby chick, I am pretty ferocious when it comes to my look. I am not one of these frumpsters who hides behind baggy clothes and doesn’t wear makeup. Oh, no. I am an in-your-face diva of the decadent. I wear what I want, from “meow!” style dresses to dope kicks and a wife beater. I can be a plus-sized pinup or an around-the-way girl and I do it hard. I do it mean! I DO IT BIG! And that is why, under the rules of game-recognize-game, I can confidently say that I am kind of in love with Fatcon #23…the uncompromising, unconventional, unapologetic Beth Ditto.

#23: Beth Ditto

#23: Beth Ditto, Lead singer of The Gossip. She's a fuckin' ROCK STAR.

Beth Ditto is a big girl. The kind of big girl that has rotund curves that cannot be squeezed into obedience by some corset or Spanxx prison. Hers is the shape of undeniable bigness and that is, at least I happen to believe so, why she is unstoppable. She is fat, ya’ll. She is a fuckin’ fat force of nature. Beth Ditto will murk your sesh.

By now, if you have no clue who this big girl is, you are probably asking, “Who the fuck is Beth Ditto?” Beth Ditto is the lead singer of the outrageous band The Gossip. The Gossip, for lack of better vernacular and tact are, well, they are FUCK YES! in my opinion. I use the term FUCK YES! as strongly as possible. You should probably stop what you are doing right now and scroll down there and watch some of their videos. You should learn yourself some The Gossip. You should rock the fuck out, ASAP, repeatedly. Until you start recommending The Gossip to others with the fervor that I am recommending it to you.

And sure, Beth Ditto has a great voice. Sure. That is already established. But that is not the reason why she is a fatcon. Oh, no.  The real reason she is a fatcon has to do with her unapologetic flauntage of her fatness. You see, this big woman parades around half naked on stage. (And sometimes naked!) She strips off her clothes and shows the world what she’s got and she doesn’t care what you or I or them think about it. She revels in her rolls and her cellulite. She wears costumes that put drag queens to shame and make this trannie-lover right here, jealous. (Her fashion sense is FIRE!!) And now, because of her entirely rad fatness, designers who would NEVER design for the bigs are putting together entire lines FOR HER. That’s right…she made fashion houses and fat-haters bow down. She is that powerful in her conviction of herself. She threw them her confidence and they ran out and bought extra material. That takes a swagger and a fierceness that even skinny people don’t posses. That takes fucking balls, man. Huge ones. Fat ones.

Oh, and she is a lesbian…which kind of justifies my girl-crush on her. She has that lezzie mojo.

And that, that right there is why Beth Ditto is #23. And why I love her. I simply love her.
Check out her FEROCIOUS photos and videos below! -goobs